Chris and Pat Story

This short story is from an in class writing assignment for my creative writing class. The prompt was to create a story about two characters--Chris and Pat--who were arguing, but both end up being wrong. Chris and Pat were two somewhat androgynous characters from Saturday Night Live who never revealed their genders. I decided to keep this ambiguity in my story, and I told it through a first person point of view. I hope you like it.


                I could feel the heat emanating from their eyes—thankfully their glares were directed at each other, not me. Even though we’ve know each other since we were all in diapers, we all—that is, Chris, Pat, and I—fight constantly. I like to think of it as sibling rivalry. This time, however, the argument was getting out of hand.

                “I’m right, and you know it!” Chris shouted at Pat from across the table. Chris then reached for the closest sup of coffee on the table, sipping it slowly and waiting for Pat to respond. They were starting  to cause a scene in this small coffee shop, but luckily there were only a few people besides ourselves. We went here on my suggestion, hoping that a warm drink and a respite from the pouring rain would lead to calmer mood. Obviously, I was mistaken.

                “No, you’re not!” Pat finally shouted. “Superman is clearly the best superhero in existence!”

                Anddddddddd we’re off! I thought. This particular argument has survived throughout the years, hibernating for a bit but never truly dying down. Now, well into our twenties, our love of superheroes has never faded. Neither has this particular debate.

                “He has every power imaginable,” Pat continued, fingers anxiously tapping the table. “And he only has one weakness, which is found on another planet!”

                “But he’s not nearly as cool as Spiderman!” Chris retorted, close to jumping of the chair. “Spiderman is a normal guy with radioactive spider powers trying to save the day, not some freak from outer space!”

                At this, I gave an exasperated sigh—how utterly wrong they both were! I wasn’t going to get involved in this perpetual argument—someone has to have a cool head. But I was nearing my breaking point. A fifteen year argument is too long; I had to shut them up.

                “Enough!” I shouted. Chris and Pat both turned toward me, alarmed, for I very rarely raised my voice. “This has gone on for far too long, and both of you are utterly wrong! Superman and Spiderman both pale in comparison to the best superhero of all—Batman! He doesn’t need special powers from a radioactive spider or another planet—he fights crime with his wit and talent. He is the true superhero!”

                Chris and Pat stared at me, and then slowly turned toward each other. First they looked aghast, but soon a dawning realization crossed their faces. Finally, this argument would come to an end! But I wasn’t so naïve as to think another one wouldn’t take its place—we could never get along perfectly. I know we will overcome it, though, for nothing can break the true bond of sisterhood.